Tipsy but not Drunk!
by AzureEmpire
Summary: Gray and Cana were among the first Fairy Tail members of their generation, naturally they're best friends and can talk to each other about anything, even if it would normally be awkward as hell. Rated M for language and implication. GrayxCana.


Don't own Fairy Tail.

There needs to be more GrayxCana, or stories with Cana in general. She's sexy and awesome.

...

"Yeah so what?" responded Gray bitterly.

"Woah, I just told you that your clothes are off again," mentioned Cana, not liking the snappy tone Gray took with her, "is your underwear frozen or someth- and there it goes," she finished as she covered her eyes.

"Gah!" ran Gray as his ass was out in the open and many of Fairy Tail's women were staring at him for much longer than he thought appropriate, "cover your fucking eyes _Cana_!"

The brunette smirked as she had dropped her hand while Gray was in a desperate rush to find his boxers, "why are you so rattled? It's not like I haven't seen it like _at least _eighty times. For a wizard that specializes in cold magic, you're pretty well off aren't you?"

In that instant Gray's skin turned so red that Cana could've named him the new Fire Dragonslayer.

"E-eighty times?"

"Gray... You're twenty years old. I've known you since you were like ten. You started stripping before you even got here! I've had ample opportunity buddy. Actually, I think most of the women here have seen your package more than once."

Gray's deadpanned expression was one Cana would cherish for years to come.

"If it's any consolation, only good things come about when it's mentioned among us. Juvia hasn't been here that long though, she's been waiting like a restaurant employee for that chance peek. I think you owe it her Gray, it really isn't fair. She's practically dying to see i-"

"How drunk are you right now?" cut in Gray while he was putting on his pants.

"I'm not drunk!" whined Cana.

Gray paused and looked and Cana. He turned his head 5 degrees right to look at the two empty barrels beside her. Cana was gently cradling a third in between her limbs in a cross-legged position. Gray raised his right eyebrow in an expression that screamed, '_seriously?'_

"_OK_," she relented, "I'm a little_ tipsy_, but not _drunk!_"

Gray's expression remained the exact same as if it were made of ice.

"Fine I'm drunk _Master Makarov,_" she sighed, "now that I admitted it, wanna come sit here and have one with me while telling me why you're being such a little shit today?"

Gray rolled his eyes and slumped towards Cana as she patted the spot beside her. He took a large dark mug and filled it to the brim. As he swug the dark brown liquid back... he coughed it up all over the floor!

"_What the fuck Gray!"_ screamed Cana, a look or outright horror on her face as she saw all that precious alcohol hit the ground.

"What do you mean_ what the fuck Gray!_" Gray gasped in between coughs, "This shit is_ rum! _I thought it was _beer! _You're drinking it_ straight! _Woman, that's _hard liquor_, and you're three barrels deep!"

"Two and a half"

"I'm cutting you off"

"You and what Army?" she responded in a panic, clinging the barrel closer to herself in order to protect it from the evil spiller that was Gray, "don't get mad at me because you're a pussy when it comes to drinking!"

"You're not going to finish that last one Cana... I'll _fight you._"

It wasn't like she'd never fought someone whilst being drunk, that was actually the case more often than not. She just didn't want to ruin the mood she was in today, which was _ridiculously_ drunk, that only happened when Fairy Tail got a brand new shipment of alcohol; otherwise she was pretty thoughtful to the other members of the guild and only kept herself to a barrel and a half on the regular. She decided to meet halfway with her long time friend.

"I will stop drinking this barrel... if you finish it. _And _tell me what's wrong too," she smiled sweetly, so much so that Gray remembered he often took for granted how fucking _beautiful_ Cana was.

He was still not impressed though, "that's all rum..."

"I know". _Smile._

"I'll go get chase," he said as he turned towards the bar.

"Pusssssssssyyyyy~" sung Cana after him before bursting out in a fit of giggles.

...

"That's what happened," responded Gray, who was drunk as shit.

Cana's lips were in the shape of an 'O' upon hearing his story, "I've seen that your balls were decently sized-"

"Oh _god_-"

"And even too-"

"Help me now-"

"But to think that you have the cohunes to ask the _Titania _out!-"

"_Don't be so loud!_"

"I am impressed Fullbuster. Thoroughly impressed!" she finished with a smirk.

"Impressed that I got rejected for some _psycho fuck_ who's tried to kill her more than once?" he responded sourly.

"Hey now, you have to understand from her point of view-"

"_Nope._ I don't give a shit. All this means is that I will be single for my whole life... and that I can fuck as many girls as I want because I don't care _anymore!"_

"Oh yeah?" pushed an amused Cana, "since when were you such a stud anyways?"

"Pffft," Gray laughed half-heartedly and arrogantly, an effect of the alcohol, "baby I got more '_kills'_ in this guild than anyone else... well maybe not Master Makarov but he has like... _two hundred years_ on me."

Now Cana was sitting up straight like an attentive student in math class, "oh my god, oh my god, _you dirty little fuck!_ Tell now!"

"No way, I've made promises!"

"I'll use card magic Gray. I can figure this shit out, even when I'm plastered!"

"_Cana_-"

"We're _best friends!_ I refuse to have these dirty little vixens in here touching you up and down without any sort of checks or balances! But I'll forgive you if you come clean _now!_"

"You get one name!"

"Is that all you got?"

"Yes, as far as you're concerned."

"Three then!"

"One."

"Five!"

"That's not how negotiations work!"

"_Graaaaaaayyyy_"

"Two. That's final!"

"Ohh I like it when you're assertive Gray," Cana purred up to him. He rolled his eyes a second time that day. "So who's first then? Juvia? Tell me you gave that little cutie the pipe!"

And it was also the second time Gray coughed up alcohol.

"Stop fucking doing that you murderer!"

"You can't _kill_ alcohol you maniac!"

Cana gave Gray the glare, "before you tell me your dirty little secrets, remember that there are sober kids all over the world right now... be a little more grateful." That made Gray laugh a little.

"Ok," started the ice mage as he leaned into Cana, his chin touching the skin of her shoulder as he whispered so others couldn't hear, "Lucy-"

"_Get. The. Fuck. Out!" _Cana exclaimed instantaneously, "Where, when, why, and how?"

"Her place; after we got back from Edolas; Got Lisanna back, that did it for Natsu, Lucy was jealous; doggy style, missionary, reverse cowgirl, and... the Italian chandelier-"

"_No."_

"_Yes."_

"I didn't even know Lucy got down like _that_"

"She _doesn't_... but I _do._"

"Where did you _learn_ these things!"

"Which brings me to my _second_ name and I'm not so worried about this one because it was a while ago... but yeah... Mirajane used to be a _bad, bad girl._"

That was when Cana coughed up the tiny bit alcohol she was trying to sneak past Gray.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk, don't you go being a bad girl too now _Cana_."

"Tell me now!"

"She molested me. On a regular basis."

Cana was shocked to say the least, "why didn't you complain!"

"I didn't say I didn't like it," he smirked.

"And Erza too?"

"No. Not her. She's... different."

"She's not perfect Gray, she's a hormonal woman like all of us And by the way, she's showered with you so many times in the past; you and Natsu both."

"Yeah but that was because she was afraid to get naked without us there... armour complex is fucked up."

"Coming from _bare naked_ _complex_ over here," snorted Cana, "but anyways, I had _no _idea that you were such a slithery little snake."

"That's not fair Cana,"

"I know you aren't a snake Gray-"

"No I mean... I'm not _little_." _wink._

"You should be _punished_!" screeched Cana while waving her arms around furiously! At that Gray croaked with laughter, "Anyways, what're you going to do now? About Erza I mean?"

"I'm going to start challenging her to fights again. Go for the W... I need my pride back."

"Suicide isn't cool Gray. I'll _miss you too much!_" said Cana with closed eyes as she enveloped Gray in a bear-hug.

"It's not necessarily suicide, I probably won't win but I have a really good chance this time... I've mastered two new techniques. Things that Ur could barely do herself! That's why I've been _shitting the bed_ on these past couple of missions. I've been too tired from practising..."

Cana was legitimately interested now, more so than by his sexual exploits, "_show me_."

"Best friend secret alright?" Gray held out his pinky finger. He never did this kind of girly thing with anyone else _except _for Cana, and she forced it on him when he was young.

Cana smiled and affectionately wrapped her pinky around Gray's "cross my heart babe," she loved their best friend secrets; they'd shared them ever since Gray came to the guild, one of which was Cana`s interest in Macao.

"Ok first off... I can change my actually cell tissue... into _organic ice!_" he then focused his magic into his forearm and his entire arm became clear ice as he moved his fingers and digits and the silhouette of his muscles shifted.

"Wow Gray... the light coming off your magic... it isn't blue anymore... it's silvery even diamond like."

"Neat huh?"

"Really neat."

"Best thing is that the ice is really dense, harder than steel! But I can also manipulate my form! Sort of like an Icy Gajeel haha! If it breaks I can re-grow it which is why I'm more confident about fighting Erza now."

"You'll need more than that though, a lot more!"

"Bringing me to my second enhanced ability... but I have to wait to show you," he explained.

"No, fuck you! You pinky swore so show me now!"

"No I mean it wouldn't be fun unless I show you the right way. Just be patient, it'll happen soon... never mind it can happen _right_ _now_," finished Gray as he saw Natsu walk by where Cana and he were sitting.

The salmon head waved and smiled to Cana, who returned the gesture, while pulling his eyelid down at Gray and sticking his tongue out as he walked past. Gray just snorted.

"Wow, I'm surprised you handled that so well," said Cana, impressed by Gray's constraint.

"You should know better" he chuckled, "wait for it..." said Gray under his breath as he was concentrating with his tongue stuck out.

In that minute Natsu slipped with his feet flying over his head as he landed on his neck with a humongous '_thud'_. He looked back at Gray who was about ten feet away. Confused Natsu nonetheless charged Gray but was stopped by Erza who came out of nowhere in an instant and suplexed him through a bar table.

She was about to turn on Gray too, who along with Cana, was _scared to shit_ by that Trap Spider-like ambush, but upon remembering their awkward transaction and her rejection of his advances earlier she quickly turned around and dragged Natsu away who was screaming "_he started it!"_

"_Safe!" _exclaimed Gray.

Cana understood why Gray got off scot-free but she didn't get why Natsu tripped.

"I don't have touch things to freeze them now," explained Gray, recognizing her confusion, "I just gotta look at what I want to freeze and voila! Ice patch underneath Dragneel's feet. My range is still pretty limited which is why I still think Erza may beat me, but I'm close, really close."

All Cana could do was clap... "Touché... so what happens if you beat her?"

"I move on from the Erza obstacle in my life and hit the solo missions. Maybe I'll find a more beautiful kickass babe out there..."

"Yeah... good luck buddy," said Cana as she rolled her eyes for the first time today.

"I know eh," chuckled Gray as he leaned his head on Cana's shoulder, "but what else can I do? I'm not evil and don't have blue hair so I got no shot. God when people say chicks dig bad guys... that's meant quite literally no?"

Cana followed suit by resting her head on Gray's and wrapping her arm around him, "don't think about it too much stud. You're ok; someone would have to be stupid to not want you. You're sexy as hell"

"Damn straight I am-"

"And cocky too..."

"Confident Cana... _confident_. It just does suck that all the women I've wanted for reasons beyond their looks, all the women I've _loved_... never have it in for me."

"_Women_? Who else do you _love..._ or at least _did_ love?"

"No one you know."

"Why is she important to you?"

"Been a friend of mine for a long time."

"Ok then, and why didn't she love you back?"

"Into older guys," Gray answered shortly as the alcohol was starting to settle in hard.

"Gray..."

"What?"

"The only reason I like older guys is because they're experienced with women. Had I known that you were such a fucking Casanova..." she paused and exhaled, "get your ass up Fullbuster! We're getting you naked again!"

"_I'm soooo drunk_ Cana! Seriously I can't-"

"Good, drunk dick is the best, you can go forever," she finished as she dragged Gray out of the guild hand in hand.

...

As Erza watched the two leave she couldn't help but accidently snap the railing she was holding with her slender fingers. If Gray thought he could just cut her out of his life by beating her in a fight, then he'd never get a victory from her as long as they both lived.

"You're just going to let him walk away after what he did? No fair Erza... I always knew you liked him..."

Erza glared at Natsu.

"...more than me," Natsu added to try and rectify his slip of words lest he get his ass kicked worse.

"Shut up Natsu."

...

I'm a GrayxErza guy but... since Erza gets everyone; Gray should be entitled to the same spoils! A change is good once in a while :P.


End file.
